one of my hobbies is I collect dust are.
You from this country I go around town / and tire prices do you get that you know that Christmas song do you hear what I hear do you mind of horrible over this wrong prescription glasses and 20/20 want to do my life story it gets where I fall you will rub this is my stepladder I never knew my real lab I heard great things about my real.
Ladder that he supported three people at laughs I heard he’s won it the next I heard he was in the 12-step program.
Anyway I had a lovely that’s it for me thank you very much thank you very much anyway with that I’m gonna bring up the man do you know the man mr. Louisville back mr. Louie Queen no blue mr. Louie CK oh my god you guys oh my god you.
Ray thank you this is what I talk like now just so you know I’m gonna do the whole show like that really a very offensive stereotype of a Mexican this is a Mexican head the borders let me you guys are dicks in there anyway you that to high enough do you think sorry like I would like to stand just a little bit wrong you know just for my own entertainment instead of saying like let’s just put it a little bit up here just some people like me especially if I’m somewhere I don’t being like CBS you know I hate CBS sometimes you got to go in there that should be their slogan where else you gonna get your warrant band-aids and stuff for your dry but I think it was called a vagina I did because I grew up in Boston and the tent I don’t know if you are familiar with people call it the Boston accent it’s not an accent it’s a whole city of people saying most words wrong it’s just a stupidity of massive region because my teachers they teach it like that my teacher mrs. remain name is Dora D but she thought her name was mrs. Garrity she mispronounced her own name miss daddy did she give a sense she gave his sex at Lowe’s 5th grade we had the sex head with mrs. Doherty and she showed us the diagram this is a penis and this is a vagina now tearing it and then later a baby comes out of the vagina sometimes it’s for charity this was the 70s she’s a teacher just said retarded in Boston sunny Mike joy is retarded she tell us every day I haven’t caught it and she’s mentally retarded 35 lives in my house she better be retarded the Stinger back up in my vagina so I thought it was called a vagina till I was like 25 but I remember thinking was like it’s a vagina it’s like a thing that vaginas like you use it to bachata Vijayan my driveway I don’t know just got a vagina this new table I just made it that would make a nice table I could make a new table and then you take the 80 grit paper and you sand it and then 120 and then you go very honey get up there and she just like one of those Danish tables are like a nice old Italian this table is a very smooth because in my wife have a better juicy boozy vagina the table my family we do this for generations we could so I’m 47 now and you know that’s.
About what it’s worth that deserves 47 doesn’t buy anything 18 you can vote 21 you can drink and 47 you can just keep doing whatever just do it just keep beating out of breath one I’ve let go of any dream of getting in great shape it’s like a relief just because my whole life I’ve been like well it’s someday I should really get in great shape now I’m like what why would I do that that’s not gonna happen just to me bar the level I want to reach far as the shape I’m in I just want it to be so that if you find out that I died you asked what happened I want you to wonder what happened to be like oh he died sure he did bigger news here though he’s still alive shit oh my god something’s changed you get older we.
Don’t reallocated some of the noises that I make like the noise I used to make when I come is now the noise I make.
Take it all bitch.
Very disrespectful to my toilet you like that it’s don’t you bitch shit in your mouth too bitch telogen you ain’t even been outside shit their wings meaty shit your face it’s like your lips you ain’t even special toilets you ain’t shit it’s awful that’s how my dad treated his toys that’s where I learned it shame so that’s the noise I make when I pee and some you might be one of you are wondering what noise do I make when I come so this is the noise I make when come I just go there’s a little witch with white one time I was having sex with a woman who was there first time having sex also turned out to be our last time but I wasn’t didn’t know that it anyway I was getting I was gonna come soon so I felt like talking about it and but I ignored very well so came out weird I said oh I’m filming she’s like Wednesday cuz I was back there right that’s why she do like this what you saying was that back there chief Roland I’m always back there brag about always behind you every time so they don’t see me crying it’s weird having sex with the woman from behind cuz you don’t know what’s going on the whole time I get kind of paranoid the whole time she might be us on the subway in New York this isn’t.
Another sex story it’s a traveling story ready so I’m on the subway I’m standing it wasn’t holding anything I just liked it Stanley this sand there I walk around the city like this so I’m standing there and from behind me over here I hear this I hear there’s a boo okay it’s a Police Code crazy person I mean it’s not a big surprise in New York I heard again all right I want to see I want to see the Crossword Clue crazy person just want to take a so look go home it’s not what I expected it wasn’t a big homeless guy with two sets of headphones that don’t work or anything like that it was a young woman she’s standing there she’s very kind of nice probably dressed she was very like Michigan me or something very suburban II missing any kind of thing and she’s standing there with a ponytail and then I’m sudden she starts wailing this she goes nah it really she’s like a student like a singing music student and she’s doing a vocal exercise it’s on the subway you know what it wasn’t charming or nice it was an arrogant and rude to.
Not tired nurse who just did 14-hour shifts we live in an interesting time you know because you can be on an airplane you’re like one of 200 passengers you’re on a flight 30,000 feet layer the middle of the flight if you just decide to do this you’re sitting in your seat and you just are going like this you go if you do that and don’t stop doing it they will land even will the way to the ground without a weapon or a threat you don’t have to do that much you can just sit there just are going down you don’t blame and you just didn’t stop saying down fighter jets will be my video going to the nearest airport and then I guess you’re in trouble but what they can’t put you like in prison because you sent down several times they like bother you why did you why did you do it this does didn’t want to be up anymore mean I just said the word of the where I wanted to be you don’t have to do it just suggestion Jesus placed how was it a plane once there was two babies on the plane and other people wasn’t was just me and two babies that would be weird you got on a plane there’s just two babies come on we’re leaving soon he’s the pilot baby I’m the other baby no that’s all right I’m not gonna babies have a good flame I’m gonna find another way to get there yeah I don’t like the way this was starting anyway I was on a plane and there’s these two babies and they’re crying the whole time crying the whole plane that happens a lot I don’t think they knew each other they’re just crying I’ve seen this on so many plates I start to wonder is there a reason for this is there like an actual reason why babies are so I looked it up turns out there’s an actual reason why babies cry on airplanes and it’s because they’re upset that gay people are getting married like a really upset like a little bit upset honey it’s the country’s changing and I don’t agree with when people are in love they should get married but they can’t accept that we beyond just being babies are selfish they babies are selfish me no baby ever goes how are you doing them I have two daughters both of them at one time we’re babies and I held them and they cried on place it’s happened to me I’ve had a baby on a plane if you’re ever is how selfless people are when you’re on a plane and you hear baby crying you think that’s happening to you look at the parent because that person.
Is holding a crying baby on a plane which we’ve been traveling with a baby all day which means they have a baby okay so they’re like visit even good being like anything there holy was eyes Jesus if there’s any joy for them it’s that this is now bothering other people yeah you listen to this shit now number one time I’ve eight was crying on the place it’s really upset and this guy and some business man I look like his business man always think that every flight is a private plane in theirs that we’re all like piggybacking on and this guy has this newspaper and he turns around to look at me and my baby and he looks right at me he doesn’t kind of like going does he looks at me like good shit oh I’m sorry bothering you let me just.
You all just clap for a dead baby he had plotted a dead baby I have two children nine and twelve years old both girls they’re both gay I’m raising them gay most people raising kids trainings gonna raise my game they’ll do what they want later but long as her in my house they’re gay I tell them every day you’re gay honey good night go to bed brush your teeth honey having children is a big responsibility.
And I’ve never really done very well at it made a lot of mistakes some of them baked some of them small you know like I’m still a person I still have an idiot’s you know still like want I got high one night I got really high because I don’t do drugs I never do drugs never so that when I do there are way more fun to me that’s my best advice but if you wouldn’t enjoy drugs never do them never because then when you do they’re actually fun because when drugs are part of your life they’re just another pain in the ass and your life it’s just an ahh like drugs suck I don’t want to have that problem I always want to be that person where it’s a new thing somebody’s like hey you want to try this and I’m like ooh anyway I got that way my friend had a.
Little update I’m gonna worry too honestly but the young people with the vaping and the duvet just do this and then they just fade and they just stand on the corn puffs and look at the thing and I miss you I miss you all right that’s what it is I miss you people because you used to stand around like this and I get to go that one and that was okay but now just look at the top his head’s now but I didn’t realize I have younger friends face and she told me it’s just it kind of like combinations I got it barely feel it you know sometimes it helps me sleep so one night we’re hanging out like I’m gonna go home and go to sleep my helps try it so I took one little tiny hit and there I was insane it was completely I was in my house I could even walk past the window under the window because I was afraid of the inside of my own way so I started texting people just ping is just texting I’m so high I’m so high I tested you know to another friend I’m so high I wanna suck the hot cheese I mean dick and get higher I think I’m gonna send that to my.
Twelve-year-old daughter and I did too easily we need that there now my kids are in my phone there needs to be up some very reliable firewall then says these numbers are much harder to text then you can’t just watch drama ties reversibly that you can go like I tuned write to these numbers I have to solve the Hellraiser puzzle there’s two guys with the keys that the opposite room that turn them at the same moment and there’s a warning are sure you want to send this picture of your Removal Cream pubic hair to your ex-wife’s mother that’s how you want to break the silence six years since the divorce this is my Red Bumps pubic hair look at all of my Infected Ingrown pubic hair how have you been I try to be a good dad but you know like the life just kind of takes off kids start you know they get their own ideas and their my 9 year old she’s just figuring out about line and that’s a tough thing it’s hard all that went back because lying is pretty amazingly useful in life so how do you tell a kid not to use a thing that just solves every possible problem like magic how do you they’re in trouble they like is there more trouble that they can take you know cuz kids the nine-year-old when a nine-year-old lies it’s not for some weird Machiavellian you know do you know my teacher said about you it’s interesting and it’s more than make it because trouble is too much frickin trouble and for grown-ups we can take trouble we don’t care we just go on sorry am I in trouble what we don’t care but to a little kid trouble is sickness mean horrible did you take that wrong class and did she doesn’t know how to.
Handle it we’ll all right then have a nice day.
How do you then tell her yeah don’t ever.
Apply that perfect solution again to terrifying things Huckleberry Finn mark twain once said a man who always tells the truth doesn’t have to remember what he said and that’s great but National Forest mark twain also said there once was a big black guy named nigger ginam the things he said were perfectly really mark nigger Jim you’re gonna go with that’s the best you could do – name them a nice ring to it yeah well it’s a little on the nose isn’t it could have call them black Mike I mean just a little take one match of the thanks for that mark anyway so while we’re in this area now that I know you guys are cool uh but is a story that takes place.
I’m gonna tell you that story it’s kind of a messy story it takes place over a lot of years cuz it started with my Ncis Gibbs friend mike who told me this story has happened to him back in the 90s he was going home for Christmas and he lives Connecticut in some shitty shit town and shitty Connecticut and he didn’t like going home he’s one of those people who came from a place doesn’t like it anymore he goes back he doesn’t know how to handle his family you know and he came from a family of white racists but he doesn’t like going home but it’s still home so he went home for Christmas one year and everybody’s hanging out during the day talking having lunch and his father and his brother both work at this factory and his brothers grousing about his day at work and he goes yeah and then this nigger Heating Pad fell asleep with the forklift and then my Guest Speaker friend mike heard that he went oh god what am I part of people I hate this they felt bad and then that night he’s in the kitchen and he’s having a warm milk or whatever yeah cuz he’s a pussy he’s just sort of.
Having some time it was tough but his cousin comes down the stairs was staying his cousin he likes his cousin it’s the one person he always felt connected with its cousin said what’s wrong man and he says well geez I come home and I hope that everything would be you know normal pretending my brother’s is but the factory and neighbor Bus Driver fell asleep with the forklift and it’s cousin goes oh my god didn’t meet her White Strips fell asleep with the forklift so this is the first part of the story ok so Mike huff me that story about how he’s just not listening to you by anyone in his family and then later on I get a job writing on a TV show for Saturday entertainer great guy and he had a show and he hired a writing staff half Black Characters white writers half black writers so at lunchtime we talked about race it was just – we’d have these provocative interesting conversations trading notes about race the Harlem Renaissance white writers the blackberries and I told that story I told the whole thing about the guys because the same and then one of the writers a black writer he goes there’s nothing worse than a nigger 2 Year fall asleep before making it harder for the rest of still nobody’s quite hearing with my friend and then but a year later I’m hanging out with my friend Dino Dino’s Greek he has no dog in the rice he doesn’t care either way he’s Greek Greeks aren’t white or black they’re you just got a big nose we just stand there I talk Dino the whole story and then black very good and then Dino says how do you Natural Ways fall asleep my oldest daughter’s gonna be 13 next.
Year that’s a big deal that’s a big deal so all the parents ahead he always going yeah I’m not afraid of her teenagehood it’s gonna be challenging and difficult she’ll meet the challenges you know I’m always proud of my kid she’s a good kid now some parents are really afraid of their daughters a lot of dads get scared through its – at this friend his daughter’s 15 he’s like she’s gonna start eating sex I don’t know what to do she’s gonna do well you don’t do the bottom number all support name for advisory nothing what is she a bad sexual experience she’s gonna have a number of those oh yes her whole life is gonna be just walking through a blizzard of bad dick a little one on your own legs a little.
Simpler tap dancing just take step into class we started earlier with tap dancing because we figure by the time she grows up it’ll be the 1930s again yeah this thing she can do that nobody enjoys watching do you know where the audience is for tap dancing the parents of tap dancing students that’s all of it because we all have go to the show at the end of the semester we have a big theater show and all the kids get up there they all tap dance and groups of threes there’s about six thousand kids they do about twenty minutes each so this shows about seven months long everybody dies at the end but you all kids want to see your kids have dance cuz that’s an amazing thing because this was a baby she was just a baby she was just like that’s it and now she’s going it’s amazing but you’re gonna watch all those other kids that you don’t love and all you gotta watch people growing up there’s grown-up adults students and they get up there get lost nobody’s here to see you nobody your parents are dead you’re 52 nobody came from work nobody came from work I take her every Thursday to tap.
Dancing and we go up to the school and I just put some tap shoes and she goes in the room I don’t go in there and she’s tap dances and I wait outside because it’s 40 minutes it’s not enough time to go anywhere so I just sit there and listen up she comes I’m tired of this I don’t want to do any more good dogs I don’t want to bring you wait I don’t care I’ll push my kids into this shit I don’t want to do it Danny I’m tired of soccer is out of our lives forever with those words from my soccer is gone don’t go to school I don’t want to get up at seven don’t do any of this shit honey I don’t care my money just eat the food in the house stay home buddies you and your sister don’t have kids I can cover all of us then we all died that’s my goal I want to make enough.
Money that we could just lock the door and eat the food that’s it Danny what are we doing today go to the food room and pick something out okay it’s all this required of you people overthink this life shit people get it all line it up I don’t know it’s gene my legs look you don’t know like what is she be here like who knows sure they do like my life and hang time you see any food put it in here just take put it in here later when you feel pressured shit out this shit in there that’s it if anybody tries to stop you from doing either of those murder them that’s it doesn’t have to ignore complicated do it till your died till you’re dead till you’re died dead I don’t know how long I’m gonna live I have no idea you don’t really ever get to find out you know okay I’m dead so 80 you don’t ever get to have that thought this is it you get to go this probably in that’s your last it’s probably it right here yeah well we’re all gonna die at some point it’s true man and you find out simple it’s an interesting thing about human beings that we live with the knowledge that we’re gonna die I found out when I was 7 that everybody dies my grandfather told me and said everybody dies I wasn’t even talking to just trying to blow the candles.
Seven years old when I found out that everybody dies and I was excited not because everybody dies but cuz I knew it I was excited as knew I was young to know that everybody dies I knew that most of my friends didn’t know and thought I want to tell them no one tells everybody I especially wanted to feel Benjy this kid across the street from me this is Kim Benjy he was my friend I was seven if he was six but if I ever came out in my Landscaping Ideas front yard he come out I’d be like oh here he comes hey first person I ever hated when visceral hate he would meet it was a piece of shit and I didn’t even know any of those words I just had that like as a raw feeling with no way to say it it’s too young for the feeling that I had and then somebody can originally take piece of shit cocksucker I was like thank you anyone Dale’s in my Landscape Ideas front yard and piece of shit Benjy comes across he says I got a mean bag or something like that and I was like you’re gonna die who’s like what no I’m not yes you are everybody dies you’re gonna die and your mom’s gonna die and your daddy’s gonna die in that order he’s really upset he starts running years later I can still see some clear limits that makes me laugh Benjy you can’t run from this shit it’sa gonna getcha he’s dead anyway so he came back with his mom so angry I was scared that his mom came over what did you say to him said I just told him that everybody dies and she goes well that’s not necessarily what she says well some people die but not everybody does and I was so full of questions I was like where everybody Abraham Lincoln and George Washington they’re dead but she said yeah that’s something happen to them so it’s why she didn’t take care of himself and Lincoln got shot but there’s a lot of people alive from those days it was like really what about like Bible people and she’s like yeah we have to go and then she left because I think she realized this is only gonna get worse she’s not side of this argument and then I went to my mom I told the whole thing she’s like don’t worry that lady’s a idiot don’t want some help my mom said don’t you’re definitely going to die what are people the Bible knew they’re going to be in the Bible I get my roots done so I look good for the Bible yeah I my dog died Reese my had to tell the kids that the dog is dead that’s a tough thing telling your kids that the dog died you got to tell them at some point you can’t just keep going oh my kids the dog died and we dealt.
and I was proud of them how they expressed their feelings about it they crying I was proud of them how they dealt with their feelings and what they said about it and how they processed and I realize this was a positive thing it’s how you start thinking as parent a lot of things you don’t think it would be positive really are cause of you because a dog dying is an opportunity to deal death with your kids like a dry run for Grandma it is dog dies you talk about it you deal with it later on you go so you know all that stuff we talked about the dog yes so grandma now all the same stuff that’s all right the kid and he hated me and he really hurt it’s true story my dog hated me and I wanted a dog so bad I was like 10 years old I used to beg my mother for a dog and she just would say like you had one when you’re a baby and it died it’s fine but finally she said you could have a dog if you keep your Drake Marvins room clean for a month and I was so excited because I was like I’m getting a dog I told all my friends I’m gonna get a dog all I have to do is keep my Dora Christmas room clean for a month I lasted about a week and it just went to shit I couldn’t do it I tried about three four days I couldn’t do it I got so depressed I was like ten and I already know my life is gonna be shit because I can’t do anything and finally my mom was like just well get the dog you’re bumming everybody out so she got us a dog and the job looked at me and he hated me on sight and I worked hard to take care of this dog I was kind to him and he still hated me which hurt that’s why it hurts cuz he must have just hated like Who I am you could tell how he felt because he was very expressive he was a terrier you know it’s gonna I browse like I’d walk in the room and he’d go like oh I can’t and I didn’t want to use leash I want to be one of those cool guys with the dog that just comes along you know this guy’s like a suede jacket with patches in it like scratchy hair he’s a head it gets in his old pickup and you say come on goes like you know this guy’s because wisp on that corner and the dog jumps in the back and they both get laid somewhere because they’re both so cool that’s what I wanted but my dog we go for a walk in the leash like you’ll be choking himself the whole and if I ever like slipped and drop.
Police you say I’m not your dog you just run we’re like a slave you just take off that’s how we ran it’s an apt description it’s how ran we don’t run like a deer this is how deer was you rent like this here at least three times and then we got a call from the pound hi we have your dog I can hear my dog in the background like don’t seriously I’ve never been a big animal person some animals I hate bats I think bats are just disgusting I hate bats I hate it’s a rat with leather wings never see one and they like look around it’s like somebody you know their face it’s disgusting hate bats and I’m sure there’s a whole thing of alone did you know the bats make all the French toast in the world or whatever Karen had a bad experience the summer I was we rented a house this summer I got a house for me and the kids my ex-wife and I we share custody the kids so the summer and a half one month they go with her one month with me so I got a nice house in the country and it was beautiful the kids loved it but the kids go to sleep but you know eight o’clock at night so I’m just laying awake terrified I’m so scared in the country because it’s just quiet and it’s just mystery trees and darkness I live in New Hotel New york city I feel perfectly safe there I’m surrounded by mirrors westerns and Jews so one night I’m in the Hotels Near country house and I’m just laying awake just begging for the Sun to come up so I can sleep through my days with the kids and I’m laying awake and I’m my bedrooms about the kitchen and suddenly I hear this forgot I heard this sound I heard that like clears about and immediately my hardest I’m gonna have a heart attack right now because there is a witch in the kitchen first of all there are witches I’ve no doubt in that moment as witches that’s how easy it was to flip me other witches and there’s one in the kitchen and I gotta go down there gotta I can’t just look at they like kids that she’ll get big tunas I’m terrified and I’m standing outside the kitchen door like this for like an hour too scared to go in I tell a little bit of logic seeped in it told me even if there is a witch in there she wouldn’t just make a noise and then just stand there for like an hour so I go in there’s nobody in the kitchen and then I hear the noise again and it was the dishwasher has weird tubes and when the soap goes through them it’s kind of vocal I don’t know why but it goes why the weirdest thing to watch my dishwasher do it sounds like it’s cool fine there’s no witches I’m about to go upstairs and up in a bat bad pink batteries like just we right break my head like this and just I went fell on the floor and immediately I crawl into the closet I close the door and I call 9-1-1 right I don’t ever call 9-1-1 and you don’t realize till they answer how you shouldn’t be calling 9-1-1 one tells you mercy sorry I’m very sorry to be bothering you this doesn’t qualify blaze like sir what’s the problem said I was just back in my house and I don’t like it she was nice to me because it’s country call 9-1-1 in new Store New york city this is it that in my house they’ll be like sir we’ll send a car right over to shoot you in the face but she’s nice like sir we understand you divorced you’re overcompensating with a Wedding Venues country house you’re in over your head she said call this guy she give me numbers just to call this guy he’s a guy who takes care of bats he’s a man who the bats are his focus felt like she was doing a lot of work to not say Batman like she is he’s a male human who bats are his I’m not gonna say bad I don’t want to say so I call the bad man he comes over and I’m in the closet looking through the crack at the bags on the ceiling hanging upside down he’s just looking around the most disgusting thing and so far there’s a knock at my door and go I crawl to the door and I open it and he’s like and he says where’s the bat so the guy walks over and he just takes the bat that’s in we just tuc n like all right yeah you pretty much nailed it that’s amazing it’s like I called somebody said help is a box of tissues on my table oh thank goodness what a relief to have a man in my house which nice and sweet team with an expecting company what we do now you know I am kind of grateful to that bad man now that you’re going to me you’re not well right you can go then I.
Can’t I can’t get out of it I just like to keep doing until the laughter stops is really this is getting upsetting I just did like 40 minutes well if you weren’t going to help me then why did you come out so no don’t do that I was in New York one time I was on the Walks Off subway platform and I saw two rats and they were I never saw them run like bullshit there’s two rats right there and so I watched them cuz you can watch rats it’s not a big deal you don’t have to go you can really totally just watching my let’s see anyway I watched him I’m just curious I mean it wasn’t surprising how they do it it’s not like she’s on top.
Anyway it wasn’t anything like that there’s a pretty standard rad just he’s on top cause pushing her into the pavement she’s like and I’m watching them just a minute like miss my train just while I was there because it’s curious I didn’t turn me on I’m just curious because I want to know what it’s gonna be like when he comes that’s what I wanted to know what is it like what a rat comes is it like is it just a biological thing just a dispatch that kind he just goes home or is it like I told a friend of mine she was like well what about the girl rat what about her orgasm why don’t you empower her and wonder how she comes what are rats don’t know gets to come when rats first of all he’s not gonna hold out for her he’s not that kind of dude you could tell he didn’t give a shit he’s gonna fucker leave he doesn’t even know her name he’s not sitting there waiting for her and trying to think of things to not come like giant garbage bags with no food in them or whatever and even lead if she’s on a Criminal Case subway platform in front of people she’s not gonna be able get to place that inside place the girl rats need to find their orgasm cuz I know what girl rats needs I know how to make her girl ride come I do just pick him up and hold him upside down and he just.
Just to be clear what I was doing there.
I speeded her mouth while I played with her little asphalt don’t judge her that’s what she likes you did it from her I was watching The Wizard of Oz with my daughters and that’s in a weird couple of stories to put together fingering a rat’s to orgasm and watching The Wizard of Oz with my daughters but they happen to have happen to one right after the other most things that I do right after I made a rat come that’s what I do at night it’s the only way I help all right let me just tell you this first that I was at a place to eat dinner in New York and I heard these two women talking and one of them is talking about the guy she’s dating they were about 21 years old like NYU students and so she’s talking about it yeah a lot of times I hear that I’ll hear this woman talking about the guy she’s dating and she runs down the stuff that’s not satisfying the thing she doesn’t she’s like he’s just you know I text him and he died doesn’t like respond right away what he does like whatever that’s weird sorry I’m weird it’s like weird right now I was like weird and then listening is a woman Oh what is your friend gonna say I won’t know what kind of friend she has you know and her friend just says he’s a piece of shit not good enough for you because you’re amazing so he just can’t handle how amazing you are never thinking that is a shitty friend not a good way to approach like I’m amazing and anybody who doesn’t text me back just can’t handle how amazing am I mean she’s the student she can’t be no college she’s I’m sure she’s fine but you’re amazing the way you take classes what is so amazing he’s kind of boring he’s kind of a douche that’s they’re fine you need to know that you’re boring a little bit it’s important self love is a good thing but self-awareness is more important you need to once in a while go I’m kind of an you to have that thought once in a while or you’re a psychopath you don’t like when you say to a friend of yours you’re being an they’re like no I’m not well it’s not up to you if you’re an or not that’s up to everybody else you don’t get to say no to that you’re an no I’m not oh sorry I thought okay I’m glad checked I guess you’re not if somebody tells you you’re your you should go oh shit all right what happened how do they get here it’s like somebody saying know you got some on your face no I don’t it’s like America I feel like America is like the world’s worst girlfriend America is like a terrible girlfriend to the rest of the world because when somebody hurts America she remembers it forever but if she doesn’t anything bad it’s like was it did I do anything bombing those people in Yemen okay you kill the hundreds thousands of people so I began now at 9/11 yeah wasn’t even torture oh my god women say this about guys but that’s just what it’s like you know because I think racism and sexism were very different to me racism it’s just a mistake it takes to sit an error it doesn’t really make any sense we could just do away with it but sexism isn’t going anywhere it’s way deep the down inside so it’s just the way we feel about each other stop man when you’re like man anyway so.
I’m watching The Wizard of Oz with my dad it’s about a little girl and Dorothy a very sweet little girl played by an alcoholic older lady dogs very upset and she keeps telling my dog and everybody’s like this is a farm we’re working leave and there’s a tornado and they all run inside and they barely look for her it’s unbelievable it was so upsetting to me when I was a kid see this movie so Dorothy goes up to us so here’s the thing I was watching the other night there’s this one moment that really stunned me it’s when Ray Bolger played the Scarecrow he just got ripped apart by flying monkeys he’s very upset and he has this performance it’s way over the top even for this movie you remember that moment the Tin Man it was over what happened and he’s like whoa oh my arms off and that they pulled my leg off I think and I’ve seen this movie a thousand times but for some reason this might that moment made me go it was all wash and I started to wonder if Victor Fleming the guy who directed The Wizard of Oz he had a moment during the filming of the movie where he was like I think you’re gonna have a word with Ray that’s getting to be a lot all right be another one okay action what happened well first it’s all my own fault my lights off rule them all back cuts comes over so listen ray yeah now you’re fine you guys have been great thanks a lot thank you