Tonight I’m access TV if poverty line get ready slap with Vladimir c’mon yo Madame X lana turner Leonard boots Detroit Lions matt burke this week’s host Ralphie May New York gotham Axs Tv comedy live Oh happening right now ladies and gentlemen Ralphie May hi everybody welcome to Gulf of Comedy.
Live here on access yeah I didn’t know I had that channel either hi it’s great to be here I have you’re larger than charge making sure that we have big production value oh it’s so great better be here uh I gotta tell you know one thing that keeps on bugging me and I don’t know why we’re still talking about is that this whole movement in the country for gays not to get married that’s what I don’t get I don’t understand how people are mad at gay people that they don’t want them to get married you know it’s like anybody married besides me okay I yeah God for we got to keep those fags from enjoying all this joy and wonderment that marriage is huh yeah cuz when you’re married it’s just waffles and blowjobs every day god bless I was Florida in November and they at that time they just now elected to get gay people to have the right to marry in Florida state that looks like a dick hanging off our country like why is this just now getting around to it you know we talk about the ultimate gay destination weddings like were you boys getting married at the tip of the dick you know I’d be awesome talking about missing the boat man let him have it you know i-i’ve been to actual gay wedding okay my neighbor and Los Angeles Gay Tony got married that’s not his real name that just how it appears on my cell hyah and so our kids they were you know they call him uncle Tony and aunt Tim and we love them we love them their wedding was incredible it was really gay though I mean like so gay but you never spit oh that it was like the reset like before the wedding okay it’s Cirque du so gay they got a guy flying down on a curtain t-bag and a dude and going back up and swinging around it was awesome I’m some seven my five-year-old son and you know how entertainment at the start of the wedding is usually like this a fat girl cousin of the bride singing a horrible song from frozen or some shit you know or a kid that might be retarded playing the trumpet with a boner you know no baby like is he retarded that boner a retarded look at that fucker Jesus Christ he loves that trumpet job Dave they had a six-foot four black male transvestite cher impersonator named sugar with a CH that’s right yeah and mr. sugar was wearing eight-inch boots so we’re about seven foot a transvestite and my five-year-old son had a shitload of questions he’s like daddy what is that I know that son is a transvestite and he’s like woo that’s the biggest trans mass might think I ever seen daddy I’m like yeah I think so I think that’s big as they make I’m signing he’s like yeah that’s a baguette and he had a cape on and my son’s in the Star Wars so he was like daddy you think mr. sugar like sword fighting and I’m like yeah I bet he loves it I bet he loves fight well it’s funny with all the gay boys around us were like oh we love sword fight until my sons five you said they’re going these are a bunch of cool motherfuckers I like these guys well mr. schaerr gets up there and he started singing Cher and I don’t know the words to share she always sounded like a blue tick hound dog to me alright and he’s making some move and his big old dick and one of his little baby balls falls the out his britches monster dick holy shit had a elbow in it Lord Jesus big and tiny ball though look like an old whopper okay Lassie all right but he’s in my son goes daddy Misha sugar got a big old peepee and I’m like son no you and I we’ve got PBS that’s a dick my five-year-old send it all off he goes yup daddy that’s a dick all right them transmits Mike’s guts dicks huh that’s a good life lesson son that’s a really good local the party even if you don’t make the actual wedding go to the gay wedding reception days look and do it better than anybody else your wedding stunt compared to theirs food was amazing they had a real sushi bar with bonafide japanesey Japanese’s not like you’re getting sometimes in New Jersey where it’s a white guy squinting you know real Japanese all right first class they had go-go dancers and every side of the dance floor I always got tea-bagged on the way to the table better Day Parade puerto rican gay by the way New York puerto rican gays are the best in the Western Hemisphere far as I’m concerned they really take gay to a new level so this guy was dancing shaking his and balls okay at a g-string and I’m walking talking to my wife and a light hits a sequins just in time for me to but whoa as balls swing by a matrix nuts easily the most athletic move I’ve ever made in my life hey keep it up we get to the table and there’s three pills on the table three pills all right and my wife goes is that candy and I’m like honey I’m pretty sure I know every candy ever made that’s how the candy okay I leave that right there is well I don’t know what those two are but that one looks like pharmaceutical grade MDMA from the early 90s and when one comes to a set and I go that’s ecstasy she goes oh I remember that yeah I know did you feel bad and so as we’re talking about that talking dirty stuff marry some a different gay guy takes the microphone he’s like how everybody he’s dressed up like the Queen of Hearts okay tonight baby we’re going to Wonderland everyone you have to rebuild on your devil I am the angle your body monster tonight what are those pills will make you small and what will make you taller and what is it good at I feel it makes everything all right just like the Ergo baby let’s go so let’s do the laundry okay baby one two three oh hey I said my wife is like should we take these pills I’m like yes these are day drug these the best drugs they make you’ve got their favorite Donna nobody was seeing it in my left I grabbed those pills and Dedham tell you’re going to dance with the devil you might as well lead you know what I said thirty minutes later I’ve in a corner in contemplating space-time in the universe and my place in it and how we just drift through time space and that’s what I thought was going on it turns out I was seated in the corner tweaking my nipple holding my and balls dancing to Ke$ha like 30 minutes so crazy you know it’s funny because everybody is always talking to me you know they’re always like do you went to a gay wedding weren’t you nervous like that what gays don’t want us straights they don’t want you you’ve never heard this you never heard a guy go dude I was at a bus stop and for gangster fags rolled up on me in and lowered Prius okay to him jumped out gave me a full makeover when I’m cutting my hair other ones suck my dick like a champ ain’t no shit really are you going go to the police no I’m going back to that bus doctor pretty good people okay you’ve never heard that ever okay so use it by the way I was a little bit nervous that I might get hit on by a gay man but you know what’s way worse than that having 350 gay men not hit on you that really hurt your feelings it’s like even not one of them not even a mercy Wow I’m the sad girl to prom so stupid I don’t like a feeling sir but we’ve got a great show for guys you ready for don’t be worried about them guys all right we love them outside I’m Ralphie May I’m your host we’ll be right back after these messages stay tuned for more labs on access TV.
Live from the Club Nyc gotham Funny Bone comedy club in New Vladimir’s Pavano is taking the stage here time New York comedy live more laps all right we’re keeping the cavity gun right now it’s his second time here on Club New gotham Watch Gemini comedy live but he was so good we had to bring him back give it up ladies and gentle for the comedy mr. Vladimir.
Yeah thank you but I appreciate that.
Thanks for the love thanks a lot I needed that I need that love I am from the Bronx New York yeah give me a handful for being alive I made it out living a Witcher 3 rough neighborhood man rough know you live in a Lil Rob rough neighborhood you could talk by the ATM machine in your neighborhood you go to a nice neighborhood the Machine gives you 20 $20 bills you get high denominations when you go to hood the Machine gives you fives and tens the machine is like you ain’t got no money you know I mean the Machine be asking you for money limbaugh it’s one little bar 20 little bar 20 Limbaugh I know your PIN number I know your PIN number come on man you brought money you also know you live in a bad neighborhood cuz no one calls you by your name in public you know man you go to a nice neighborhood they call you by a government name they see you want to treat the like hey John good morning you go to the hood is a different conversation right they see you in black the leg cuckoo we have a whole conversation right like yeah what up man you see like last time I see your shoes I tried it once I’m with Siri I said Siri cuckoo and Sirius said the drugs are on 19th Street I said Thank You Siri appreciate that good looking out my dad lives in the Bronx and I was hanging out my dad today we were hanging out had a nice father-son moment you know I mean I’m sitting next to my dad and my dad turns to me and says that when he was a kid he wanted to be a school teacher very sweet but I was laughing cuz of the way my dad said it you know I mean my dad turns to me and it’s how said he goes made-up going to your table holding you kissing man throat ooh sorry teacher I was laughing because that’s what my dad speaks English you know I mean my dad would say a whole phrase in Spanish and the last words in English you don’t mean and in his mind he just spoke English and some weird rosetta stone stuff going on mean I never forget one time there was a crime to happen outside my dad’s building and the cops come to my dad to get a statement like listen to anything you can give help us out solve this case we appreciate it my fans like Mira yo table aki el Divo Caruso la calle ferpa la bodega nice the cop is wings like a donkey.
People football hooligan gun case closed my dad is in construction he’s a handyman he’s a superintendent and my father has a hilarious way of describing his work process hysterical he’s my dad does to describe his work process my father gives you a series of numbers followed by random noises it’s hysterical so the landlord came to him we got a Jewish landlord he comes down to check on my dad he’s like hey Julio ha you tell me about your work time what you’re doing well I am and this is my dad okay mean I come over here I come over here 1 2 3 I put it inside over here – come over here champ 4 5 7 8 you put her inside pop come over here chop plus 1 is 3 you put it inside Chuck come over here and then you have a looking at my dad like I thought you.
Were given the weather report I didn’t know my Cookie Recipe dad’s favorite stores the Stainless Steel home depot loves that place I mean poor people love the Home Depot everything you’ve ever wanted in one place my father’s touching himself every guy he’s like oh my god meetha did I wanted me that did I want man securities was tagging him like why the hell is he touching himself till the drill bits one time I had to get supplies from my dad right my dad’s go to Water Heater home depot to get supplies my father I get to the store one of the one of the attendants comes to me he’s like hey what do you need and I’m like oh man here we go I need a UH I need a 2 3 4 5 uh followed by a shoe come over here whoa and the guy looks at me and says let me go get Carlos I’ll be right back this week two three four five Consulting my father’s favorite item at the Gift Card home depot is a Heat Pool black garbage bag poor people love the Disposal Switch black garbage bag you know I mean we use it for everything you know I mean this a raincoat is a curtain luggage I mean know you pour when use a Disposal Flange black garbage bag for everything but trash my dad will get upset if you put trash in the trash but he would lose it me not what you’re doing I’d have to apologize dad I’m sorry I didn’t know that was mommy’s dress honey we got a funeral I never forget me in 1996 it was Halloween that was Halloween I said dad I want a costume all my friends got costumes I wonder dad my dad’s like made up you are the Dark Knight and he put a black bag on me I’m out the trick-or-treating with a trash bag on looking like a confused Klan I’m knocking on doors trick or treat you sure about that you put the candy in the bag put in the I am the bag put it in the bag put it in the bag I never forget one time they broke my father’s car window they shattered it guess what my dad put on it black back bragging about it to me I’m a cop man me that looks like a tinted window meanest ting Tomita can’t make no I remember one summer but they had the black bag up but it was hot when I put a hole in it he was like made our air conditioned my parents are still together my mother can’t stand my father she hates him but it’s messed up because I look just like my dad you’re not mean so whenever – any time of the season she gets nauseous on the spot I mean like oh my god uh-huh with your face you don’t let your father and her I want your face to die what are the doctor telling you like your father my mother’s a trip because my mother has mother my mother’s always sick but she has no Self Employed health insurance so I got go to the doctor with her diseases and you can’t say no to a lamb mom you.
Don’t mean mom no maid I gave you life so I go to the Urgent Care doctor’s office right Columbia hospital or the Doctor S doctor’s office doctors like Vlad what do you got I said doc I got a white milky discharge uh coming out of my left breast and I get home I was waiting for me almost like me don’t you have a lot medicina you have it under this inna my mother’s ring very secretive she walks to the side in the house me do you have a lemonade Sina you never let I said mom I got an appointment with a psychotherapist she got mad I gave you I got a mammogram for you don’t mean I leave you guys with this man my dad just got a cell phone he got a smartphone you know I mean and it’s hysterical my dad doesn’t know how to put songs on his phone so my dad has jam to ringtones and this is my Root Beer dad’s favorite ring so I came home I was dancing to this right here thanks a lot guys I appreciate it stay tuned for more lines on access TV.
Restaurants Near gotham New York comedy club New Hotel New york city Johnny Stompanato lana turner is taking presentation of Gotham poverty line more laughs happening right now thank you everybody Oh our next performer she has a one-hour special on hulu called so I wrote a song about give it up ladies and gentleman from miss Clark Gable lana turner thank you so much it’s so great to be here in New York I love it I just saw a homeless guy had a sign it said cancer can you please help I was like I’m a Capricorn but you don’t see me begging it’s a beer I came from Los Angeles that’s where I live I’m not originally from there but I’ve become very LA you know like oh my god I’m so LA like just recently I had liposuction yeah but that’s what they called it at Planned Parenthood relax it was just a couple of Alex’s not a big deal I have a guitar so I’m gonna play some songs you guys I want to start off by asking the ladies when you’re in a relationship do think you should ever admit when you’re wrong no guys do you think we should admit when we’re wrong yeah see I kind of agree with you so I wrote a song from a man’s perspective and before I play it though I want to introduce you to my guitar right that’s the polite thing to do I name this guitar after my favorite uncle because now I can stick my fingers in his hole yeah ah groan don’t go that’s what I did a first just relax and enjoy it it’s so much better so hi this is for my guide to his girl just a broken heart a love song called this time so here are you know I’m tired of all the arguing seems to go nowhere getting to a place these days where I couldn’t even care argue every point with me no matter how small so this time if you’re wrong you can suck my dick if you’re right you can suck my balls I don’t think I can take it seems to go nowhere getting to a place these days where I couldn’t even care you could say I’ve hit my limit I’ve had enough of it so this time if you’re wrong I can come in your mouth if you’re right just on your tits you’re in my hedge is yapping will not go away I can barely even listen to the point you need to say before you know we’re in a fight it really is the worst so this time if you’re wrong you can eat if you’re right I’ll wash it first.
I play that song every night for my kids yeah they all right to sleep yeah do I have two kids and that’s awesome they’re at an age now where a lot of my friends also have kids and one of my girlfriend’s confessed something very frightening to me recently she said that she coughs violently impedes herself and that’s a scary proposition I’m sure there’s some women here who have done that and I don’t want to point you out but god bless you in case you sneeze in god bless you cuz that’s some scary stuff right like I don’t know when it’s going to happen but I’m pretty sure like at some point your Diner just falls apart and I’m so scared then I’m gonna walk you to the grocery store and look back be like by Buzzy’s although I don’t think guys have that same fear right like you’re not worried that every day of life your balls are getting and lower right one day you just sit down like there’s my balls you don’t even look at them okay if you did you’d be horrified you go oh my god it looks like raw chicken black eyes are like Burton yams I think the only time you would look as if your manscaping right I don’t know what my husband’s not a man’s caper but if you are I think that is awesome I did date a guy though before I met my husband and he would shave this up and I thought that was great he was very hairy he was and he was Saudi Arabian Arab and I’m Jewish that was interesting he was come in the bedroom and throw a rock at me I pretend to drive a tank he’s incredibly.
Hairy I called him my little harem who’s amazing but he would shave this up it was like a skin oasis in the desert of I was so glad that he shaved it though because if I blew him I didn’t want to talk like they do you know after they do that they have a hair in their throat you know I have to recommend the ladies if you can get with a Muslim totally do it they are awesome seriously all you have to do is lay down with your head points where Mecca he will go down on you five times a day I’m very nervous about the whole business and the whole as it gets older and I think we as women need to embrace it and stick together as a group and so I think what we need to do that with is an anthem and who better to do that than me so I began to think I was looking fine when a hot boy smiled at me I’m married so I want to be clear I wouldn’t have acted seriously but that innocent flirt ended up crushing my esteem that day because he waved at my kids and he called me ma’am and he turned and walked well I sat there dejected feelin very lame then it occurred to me Oh pussy needs a new PR campaign always recycle do not be confused brother you know the truth it’s better when used it’s a pro pussy recycle and song it’s an environmentally-friendly if the muffler is good and the engine purrs – who cares about dents you never should buy new kids will mess it up but all it needs is love like your favorite old t-shirt or a beat-up baseball glove it’s kind of a messed up visual but it works alright many things get better with age like cars wine boats and booze so tap Mama’s ass cuz it’s better when so if you find yourself a cougar do not throw away like meatloaf or lasagna it’s always better the next day pussy doesn’t spoil so just turn out the light like sexual prime age steak with that touch of cellulite if you find yourself a mouth you’re gonna have some fun and the there’ll be cookies and milk when you’re it puts it’s better when it’s you guys are so awesome I have time for.
Just one more quick one this is my favorite song I wrote this for my daughter because she just recently started reading so this is a duet between two of my favorite women in history and Frank you guys know where is the Jewish girl hiding in the Attic from the Nazis right and Helen Keller you guys remember her she didn’t see she couldn’t hear yet she was able to communicate right okay so this duet between Anne Frank and Helen Keller.
shut up you dumb bitch you guys are stay tuned for more lab on access TV live for a Axs Tv gotham Open Mic comedy club in New Leonard who is taking the stage when we all right welcome basically live we’re kicking ass on this show tonight and week the next performer is no exception he’s going to be seen in this upcoming season of BET’s comicview which means he’s black give it up for later dudes y’all can do better in there make some more noise make some noise yeah recently I just turned 22 yeah I got a sister I got a sense you seventeen by the graduated San Antonio high school she’s dating now and that’s her older brother you know I wanna feel like I can protect her but she datin real men now yeah I come home to visit I come inside he walk in he’s 6-2 to 60 all muscle that’s how quiet I got when he walked in the room this is gonna ask me what would you do if he hit me I said bitch what would you do if he is I’m gonna do whatever do you scream I’m a scream ahh that is somebody uncle I’m not fighting him now I say that I say this I do not condone domestic violence but I will be honest if a man hit his woman in front of me I’m not gonna say none I smoke up before I ain’t like how it ended for me I was in the club a few weeks ago having a good old time this dude slap his girl in the middle of the club in front of everybody and I was raised to speak up when you see something that she’s not supposed to see so does he hit her I stepped up man I was like eh you not supposed to be putting your hands on these females like that he looked at me said I hit dudes too I said damn I did not know he was hitting everybody didn’t I know they told me at the door was ladies night I thought it was only hitting women mom’s hair cuz I’m a dude but I got titties too so I know he won’t hit me twice is it carry over slaps he’s hitting everybody he using both hands he by satchel he had go to school for that he is by slasher I’m still working on the definition but I know his hashtag bye slaps the artists smacking people with both hands growing up no man I was blessed you know I was raised right I grew up both my parents was not a lot of people my ethnicity get to say nowadays ladies hey hearing them complain about growing up without a father cuz I had one and he wasn’t all that you know the mainland I used to hear the same complaint every day like you know I grew up without a father I don’t have a I grew up without a neck and I didn’t complain to nobody there was no scholarship fund for me it meant don’t buy turtlenecks and keep it moving you know what I mean some stuff you got to get over you know how dumb I used to look asking them to him up my turtleneck I had to get my sweater a circumcision are y’all listening people don’t understand me it’s a struggle having two parents especially because people who grew up without a father think that your parents didn’t argue because they stayed together now I didn’t mind the market they argued a lot but I just didn’t like when he started messing up it started rolling in my life I never forget I was in the third grade I came home from school one day they was arguing in the kitchen next thing I know my momma snapped and stopped cooking for a whole week seven whole days me and him sitting at the dinner table eating bologna sandwiches I had to put them to the side I was like yo I don’t know what y’all got going on can I’m gonna need for you to get your shit together cause if I gotta eat one mo turkey on switch I’m gonna go to school with other people you touch me you gotta go you ain’t cut my sandwich your hand ain’t no chips you gotta go you gotta go then I got to college educated parents.
Both my parents went back to college while I was in Football Schedule high school which is dope you know I’m proud of them they both got master’s degrees but my friends you know yeah give it up but my friends I guess they had some false reality of what that meant for me at home there’s my oh that’s dope you in school your parents in school that’s cool like no it’s not cool dumb because we do homework together everybody at the table confuse nobody know what they doing I look up my daddy caught me in my homework I’m like we don’t even go to the same school did my mama’s gonna make me do her homework every night talk mom she gotta take the time to homework and she can’t cook dinner I was like you know what bitch give it on work you are something else give me the homework I’m in second grade doing Spanish work like homos say these things go put the meatloaf in the oven como mm-hmm I made that aged oh man me days my friends starting to have kids you know we’re not you know just I’m scared I’ll be honest I’m scared cuz you never know who you gonna get pregnant nowadays I’m scared I’d be honest I’m scared what if I get a big girl pregnant right and then the baby grow up start to walk run and we can’t catch it like will literally be unfit parents you know what a mainline like ha look at the school like hey somebody stop my baby that’s running down the street I can’t show up no PTA meeting after that I can’t find a missing person report I stupid I’m a look well when you realized he was missing immediately I was why didn’t you try to stop him I did but I ran out of and he had him do pamphlets where the legs get artery good intention can I catch him glad to be here oh man I’m glad to be here Gotham doing comedy because I’ve had some bad jobs man like I used to be a server at IHOP I don’t know why y’all laugh that wasn’t a joke see it’s people like I hate judgmental people like don’t judge me I know I’m a big guy don’t judge me like I had one lady I couldn’t tell certain people who out of stuff in the back because it’s automatically my fault I had a lady order Oscar Mayer turkey bacon one day Egg White turkey bacon I had you know I had to put my white boy song you know I’m so sorry ma’am we’re all out of Turkey baby she gonna get me attitude like I bet y’all are checking out like bitch I don’t even eat Jennie O turkey bacon I like regular bacon with the fat on the side and the grease my foundation when bacon like I hate bougie people go to IHOP I like a surreal restaurant you ever met these people they’re like it’s a real restaurant now they come in to order t-bones like this I’m saying we sell t-bones but if you don’t got Washington State health insurance or an extremely strong kidney I wouldn’t recommend it you know the man not exactly USDA choice meat I had a lady order t-bone when instant the arrogance she had when she ordered to she just I would like to t-bone and could you tell the chef I would like it medium rare like she says chef like first off you want your t-bone from IHOP anything other than well done I’m gonna go get this health weight round the back real quick cuz the meat was damn there’s food on the truck we got and I just wanna let y’all know because I didn’t know this there’s never been a chef at IHOP some brother named Brianna back then she start asking questions he didn’t study abroad no he killed abroad he got an ankle bracelet on you talk about self he cookie legs with a FUBU sweater on and you talk about self he got on a do-rag right now are you talking about self there’s never been a diploma nor degree in the kitchen at IHOP only degree its first degree manslaughter and third degree burns from their groups y’all been great that’s my in the morning on access TV live.
New Store New york city Fall River matt burke is taking the state when we return welcome back to the access TV presentation of Promo Code gotham Rodney Carrington comedy live more left happening right now doc devil we got more funny for you know this guy from Showtime comedy said she’ll give it up ladies and gentlemen for funny man mr. Miami Dolphins matt burke thank you very much.
I am older that’s what I’m coming to grips with now you know how you know you’re getting older when your doctor doesn’t care if you smoke that’s a hopeful day when you hit that landmark do you smoke yes I’ve hit the age now where I’m starting.
To just feel that pull to sit down know you walk past a chair it’s like I fight it’s like a little boys a little Jewish voice just going sit some middle-aged in the middle I figured out what that meant you’re in the middle you’re not young anymore or you’re not old or in the middle you’re observing folk and you know you’re looking back with regret and you’re looking forward with dread and you’re saying you know I should have done something here that’s because I can’t do shit now there or in the middle with this well you think this whole hair thing is I’m a civil war surgeon now one thing I’m unaware at the absurdity of the whole hair thing but I don’t care I’m damn middle-aged I have kids married I’m wearing three different shades of black okay it just all went so fast last 20 years like that if young you’re not gonna listen I didn’t listen but just one minute you’re out every night having a great time you got money in your pocket next minute you’re home snorting vicodin searching facebook for people used to have sex with I mentioned my wife I’m in a good space with my wife now she had her girls night out this week so we’re you always come back better from girls night you know when your wife comes to you and says I’m going out with the girls that’s her way of saying I have to talk about you to someone else so I’m in a unique position with my wife.
Because she likes it from the side no grow the up will you please now it’s unique because I like my job you know I enjoy my work which is a problem first off because if a man wants to make his woman angry all he has to do is enjoy something it’s don’t laugh I don’t care you know it’s true candy can’t hide it from can’t even hide it can’t have your little train set in the basement without getting a 10-digit he’s yeah this it’s my little thing it’s can I have my little thing in the last three feet of the so I live in Queens I was born and bred in Queens yeah now the most culturally diverse area in the entire world for its size Queens true a lot of people from the Asian subcontinent in the area where I live now and I’m currently siding with the Sikhs to keep the Indians out of the.
Neighborhood because that’s the great part about living in the multicultural area know you can participate in ancient feuds that you have no understanding of whatsoever you just pick a side doesn’t matter it’s like the World Cup dead I like their shirts then you got your pick in Queens half a Queens hast the other half the Chinese Japanese Jews and the Arabs go into a Greek restaurant start bitching about the Turks see how far get you or the Turks hug us yes he’s right knows he says free desserts for him energy and this Turkish piece of shit it is you know the Turkish men they sit down to pee do you know this it’s true eat your baklava don’t you kind of aspire to be that guy don’t you want to be like a bitter old racist with giant eyebrows just to fend off end the worries I worry about so I you know what I’m concerned about all the technology we’re gonna miss when we’re gone all the technology is going to be wasted on these the six-year-old little over vaccinated ADHD ritalin soaked monsters that are clogging our educational system if the sex robots are coming you know that once the robots are affordable to the average person there’s gonna be sex robots trust me and it’s going to be insanity they’re gonna fly off the shelves man could you imagine a woman you’re gonna have sex with any time you want and shut off her mouth you know not me I’m not saying hi I would want that talking about these perverts who would build such a thing men are going out of control young men are going to be they’re going to be camped out the night before the new model is released sleeping bags with little erections all in a row Chinese workers will be jumping out of the windows of the nipple factory from the sheer demand and inevitably that pc/mac debate will start up and you know the Apple people will all be there you know the Apple people are know you can’t get a virus if you do it with a knife I know might be celebrity models what better way to rejuvenate your career if you’re a husband just sell your image to a sex robot you know Lady Gaga might be on top today but she could be on the bottom tomorrow young Sam gah have you thought about that name since the first time you heard it Gaga you know about controlling language you know since the beginning of time there’s been a small group of elites who are trying to control the rest of the population at least according to my internet research and one of the things they do is to control language if you can control people’s language you control them because you can shrink the language you can make it hard to communicate make people stupid infantile easy to control and I think there’s no better example of the infantilization of America than the fact that they’ve given us a celebrity named gaga you may not see it now but someday you’re gonna hear a rumor for that Lady gaga you don’t want to look it up maybe you won’t have your phone with so you ask your friend to do it and you will look at him and you will say google gaga then you might you know what I was saying about the other night too I kept myself up late I was up I was having a cigarette at the kitchen window you know because I have so I was taking myself where all the dead squirrels my neighborhood is full of support they must be dying all the time my course of nature we should be ankle-deep in dead squirrels but you only see one a year this one in front of your house there’s one and that’s usually natural causes that’s or a hit you know this is a lot of gang activity and the squirrel could be on when they whack a guy they will drag the body they drag the little squirrel body to the ground between two big trees so it looks like I guess thought he could make it JBC a squirrel with no tail as a scroll couldn’t keep his mouth shut Thank You Gotham stay tuned for more Laflin access TV live from the Open Mic gotham Promo Code comedy club in New Restaurant New york city all right let’s bring them all back up on stage oh he’s very clever hey mister back everybody here at Gotham County live in Access thank you so much we love you can’t do nothing about.