ladies and gentlemen please welcome mr. Ron boy.
Thanks man what I’m gonna do I’m gonna.
Start off this evening by asking you a question because I don’t know the answer I lost my sunglasses and I yesterday I went to the sunglass hut here’s the question why does a pair of sunglasses cost more than a 25 inch color television Saturday I go to the sunglass.
Hut I see a pair of glasses I like I don’t love them I don’t I like them 309.
Bucks and I asked the guy very politely how do you sleep at night you little prick.
And I told him and this is true that two weeks ago I bought a 25 inch color television set from Walmart for 218.
Bucks and he goes well apparently sir you don’t get it.
I’m listening because these glasses.
Eliminate a hundred percent of all UV rays no apparently you don’t get it this.
Thing decodes a digital satellite signal it picks up from outer space.
And then it turned out the glasses got basic-cable and I felt like a dickhead.
Look Braveheart fight you ever take a crap so big your.
Pants fit better.
I’m hoping that happens to me later tonight because these babies don’t fit.
Anymore I’m hoping I’m one big turret.
Away from backing into an old wardrobe.
Yesterday I was sitting in a beanbag chair naked eating Cheetos and.
I was flipping through the television and I saw Robert Tilton he’s a televangelist from Dallas and he was staring at me and he said this he said.
Are you lonely yeah he said if you.
Wasted half your life in bars pursuing sins of the flesh this guy’s good he.
Said are you sitting in a beanbag chair naked eating Cheetos yes sir.
So do you feel the urge to get up and send me $1,000 I thought he was talking.
About me there for a second apparently I ain’t the only kid on the block Diggs cheeto so it’s great to be.
Back in Kalamazoo at the.
Last time I was here they took me to the Blues Festival which and I love the blues but the they need to figure out some problems with the festival I don’t I don’t like the party anywhere where you can’t just give somebody money and they give you back a beer you know what I mean I started alive for an hour my mouth is dry I want a beer I love beer I know they’re selling beer people are walking away with the front of the line they’ve got beer that’s how I figured the whole thing out I get up there I give the guy my money goes we don’t take money here what do you take coupons.
Koopmans where do I get it cooping see that line over there it takes forever I stood in.
That line for an hour I got to show them a driver’s license birth certificate fill out a form they mail that away send.
Me back some coupons what are you doing Ron I’m waiting on UPS sir there’s a good chance I’ll have a beer by Thursday I’m partying like a Kennedy.
Right now.
I was a game – I had a hundred bucks cash on me about a hundred bucks where the coupons and then some guys that took me there asked me if I wanted to go to a topless club and I didn’t want to go I just ended up going cuz you guys back me up on this you’ve seen one woman naked do you want to see the rest of it could.
Be an old biker chick you know they’re gonna hang down to here’s if you’re seeing that Guinea yeah dude all right.
That’s enough rolling back up.
Things that make you go and then closing.
Time came around and the tabs came out and I found out the titty bar don’t accept them supid a guy Taco Bell told.
Me to kiss his ass I’ll give you $40 where the coupons for a burrito with cheese it’s all I’ve got it’s a coupon so I saw something that.
Comes close to truth in advertising the De Beers people are almost saying what they really mean because the old deBeer slogan was diamonds are forever then they changed it to this year take her breath away the new slogan is diamonds render her speechless why don’t they just go ahead and say it diamonds that’ll shut her up.
For a minute so man I was just in Miami.
**** I don’t know was a couple years ago so I didn’t just would not be the word but was working there with Fox when Hurricane George hit the keys I just thought this is kind of funny they evacuated the keys and everybody left except for I’ve been through two hurricanes I was in hurricane Carla when I was a kid in Houston and I was really excited during hurricane time you know because out there in the Gulf and it’s dangerous I was like this is cool till shit started hitting our house I was like but anyway they evacuated the keys.
And everybody leaves except for one guy who’s gonna stay there and tie himself to a tree on the beach to prove a point and the point was he said that at 53 years of age he was in good enough physical condition to withstand the wind and the rain from a forestry hurricane all right let me explain something to.
You it isn’t that the wind is blowing.
It’s what the wind is blowing.
If you get hit with a Volvo it doesn’t.
Really matter how many sit-ups you did that morning.
If you have a yield sign in your spleen joggin don’t come into play I can run 25 miles without stopping you’re bleeding man last time I was here.
I had somebody broke into my truck and stole my radio thank you whoever you were got to drive back to Texas listen to the sound of win for 49 hours I went.
To the insurance-company I was throwing out these forms and I got to the part on the forum where it says what kind of radio wasn’t that older guy didn’t remember it he said mr. white if you can remember what kind of radio it was well no how much money to give you that’s a good news right there I thought of a real expensive sounding brand and I wrote it down and he knew how alive mr. white I don’t believe Rolex makes a radio.
It was a clock radio.
Pratt the chick premium boy they love it.
When you call them premium boy next time you see your agent call him premium boy he’ll get a chuckle so I almost I almost.
Died this year actually I didn’t almost die I didn’t even get hurt I was a near.
Miss plane not a crash we were making a movie in Nam I was flying from Flagstaff Arizona to Phoenix Arizona because my manager doesn’t own a globe we’re on a.
Plane that big it’s like a pack of gum with eight people in it and what.
Happened was we took off from the Flagstaff Airport haircare and tire center there we’re traveling at half the speed of smell we got passed by a kite.
There was a goose behind us in the pile it was screaming go around we get.
Halfway to Phoenix we got to go back it’s a nine minute flight can’t pull it.
Off with this equipment we had engine.
Trouble we lost some oil pressure and one of the engines and they told us about it over the speaker system of the plane which was stupid because they could have just went hey we lost some oil pressure heard you did it was weird.
Everybody on the plane was nervous but I’ve been drinking says like take it down I don’t give a shit.
Do you ever have one of those days hit something hard I don’t want to limp away from this PC shit the guy sitting next.
To me is losing his mind apparently he had a lot to live for he goes hey man if one of these engines fails how far will the other one take us all the way to the scene of the crash.
Which is pretty handy because that’s where we’re headed I bet we beat the paramedics there by.
We’re hauling ass.
So I’ve got a really good job I like my job it’s important to have a good vocabulary you know actually I haven’t always had a good vocabulary when I was young if I’d known the difference between antidote and anecdote my friend Bob Schneider would still be alive today he got bit by a copperhead I’m reading him humorous stories that a Reader’s Digest I’ll tell you a little bit about.
Myself I’m from Texas I’m a cowboy a real cowboy I was only I was a bronc.
Rider for six years of my life and it’s affected me now when I have *** my arm goes like this seems to be some dispute.
Between the wife and I whether or not I’m staying on that fall eight seconds.
So we got the timer and buzzer and set it up right there in the bedroom and I taught her the meaning of the phrase most of the time would have been all the.
Time but she won’t let me tie that rope around her waist anymore she hates it.
When I spur her out of the chutes hey.
You laughs is not easy to keep an erection with a clown and a barrel in the corner.
Here’s a sir we’ve gotta focus I’m.
Probably not a typical Texan in that I don’t hunt that fish but I don’t hunt not because I think it might somehow be more holy to eat meat that’s been bludgeoned to death by somebody else that’s not it it’s really early in the morning it’s really cold outside I don’t want to go my cousin ray on the other hand thing’s killing a deer with a deer rifle is magic in the forests I’d like to do for you now my impression of my cousin ray after the big kill well it was 4:00 in.
The morning 22 degrees outside corfu.
Aren’t there see I’m in a camouflaged ear blind with grease paint on my face I’ve got deer urine on my boots I’m not.
Sure why I made that fart out I got a 30 out six with a 12 power scope.
And a bullet that will travel 2200 feet per second when that deer looked up to lick the salt sucker I’d hung from the dango tree got him right above the eye.
Well yeah well I hit one with a van.
Going 55 miles an hour with the.
Headlights on and the horn blowing that’s an elusive little creature do you ever miss was because the bullets moving too fast slow the bullet down to 55 miles an hour put some headlights and a little horn on it the deer will actually jump in front of the bullet.
So I have a married man happily married man thank you very much for asking I married a rich woman if you ever have a choice go ahead actually that’s uh.
That’s a lot she’s not rich at all her parents are and they hate my and I’m.
Waiting for them to.
And you’ll know if they die too because you’ll never see my fat ass again I’ll.
Be in Palm Beach with my new friends and.
Me a beer Teddy servants rich my in-laws.
Have servants is that weird I thought when I married their daughter they’d send a servant along with us to help do all the shit they never taught her how to do and I was wrong.
We’re now leaning on her domestic skills and who she’s handy I kind of I’m doing.
A show the other night she goes honey the dryers broken I’m like did you check the lint filter sweetheart sit out honey.
I’ll check it I open it up is there anything in there there’s a quilt in there.
Look you made a sofa cushion I heard a.
Lot of this I hear a lot of Ron you’re pretty good-sized oh boy but I guess the little woman’s are good oh I.
Got a little better when she figured out that smoke alarms not a timer.
I have to have to tell her honey the food is done before that particular buzzer goes off it was real bad when we first got married the first meal she cooked in our new house I couldn’t eat it I gave it to my dog he started licking his butt she comes in.
The kitchen here’s what’s he doing looks like he’s trying to get the taste out of his mouth everything’s that emergency to my wife because you never had to deal with her own problems spoil the cater to her whole life there’s no cure right for that I was in Atlanta one time she calls me one night misses me in the hotel room they catch me in the lobby and tell me I have an emergency phone call from home I knocked over ten people in the lobby of a very nice hotel thinking maybe my in-laws.
I call her she tells me my dog Sluggo.
Just took a dump on the new carpet.
Shoot him she goes that’s just like you.
Wrong I have a genuine problem and you’re being sarcastic all right honey.
I’m sorry put the dog on the phone I’ll talk to it.
What do you want me to do I’m in Georgia.
I can’t pick up the turd put a paper.
Towel over it I’ll be home in a week honey I get home it looks like a little.
Campground in the living room somebody’s having a poopa Palooza concert write him outside he’ll shit out there I’ve seen.
Him doing.
We have a beautiful son his name is Marshall I named him after an amplifier almost named him VV come here blob punky.
A little woofer there my son is five.
Years old my son thinks five years old is a very cool age to be because that’s the coolest age he has gotten to his favorite thing about being five years old as he’s old enough to wear a seat belt that’s his biggest visible step towards man oh it’s so far in his eyes you know he’s trapped in the truck just like his daddy and he thinks that’s great I think it’s great too because I Drive a four-wheel-drive truck and I learned this about four-wheel drive trucks it doesn’t really matter how big the motor is or how big the tires are your macho days are over when you trap a car seat in front of that bad boy you just can’t show it off to your buddies you know what it means he just you can’t make yourself go what that that’s got the Vortech v8 running 285 horsepower yeah that that’s a Manitou walk power we try to pull 28 tons right out of the ditch that that’s playschool.
Car seat with the big bird steering wheel attached that’s bird on the.
Blinker Ernie on the windshield wiper that’s big bird in the middle you can honk it fat bastard if you want well in.
Two weeks I’ll have the Cookie Monster flip mirror back ordered it on me I.
Don’t I Drive the truck anymore about this big 2-story custom vans at or in and it’s kind of neat it’s got the James Bond couch in the back where you push a button and the couch in the back automatically turns into a bed now Mike well that’s cool I finally got something over those Mercedes Benz driving in-laws of mine you know what I mean when I first bought the van I was real proud of it I took it straight over to my brother-in-law’s house to show it off because he’s such a prick he takes one look at my new van he goes I can’t believe you didn’t buy a mercedes-benz.
They don’t make a van they hate it when.
You do that it was wrong I don’t think you fully understand the intricacies of mercedes-benz engineering why I’ve got.
The 3-inch windshield wiper that keeps my headlight clean in a rainstorm I got.
A place to **** your sister.
I don’t know why they don’t like me bet.
You wish you had one of these.
It’s a kit kitten I want to screw up.
Good whiskey Oh tasty actually that was.
All bullshit I just got a divorce I just want to do those three jokes before I told you and I’ll tell you what went wrong and I can’t cuz I feel like I can be honest with you folks and you won’t judge me or maybe you will I don’t care but I’ll tell you it’s very difficult to marry out of your class I come from a lower middle-class family my daddy worked his ass off his whole life or not very much and that does not make you better than me you know what I mean my dad was a good man.
And they’re always gonna just look down their nose at you like you’re supposed to be carrying some pissed bucket for him or something and if you’re not willing to carry the pissed bucket it ain’t gonna work and she got convinced in her crazy head that I had *** with this girl in Columbus Ohio and I did not tell you why when you enter.
Into a monogamous relationship with somebody usually do it at a point in the relationship when you’re having a lot of *** so you’re willing to sign the papers I’ll only have *** with you ever well if that person stops.
Having *** altogether while you find yourself in quite a pickle I’m a pretty.
Good dog but if you don’t pet me every once in a while it’s hard to keep me under the porch I’m not as flexible as a.
Real dog but I’ll tell you what happened to I was in Columbus Ohio I’ve been laid in three months three months you can’t go three months without having *** with me I’ll go have *** with somebody else I know I’ve seen me do it I did a show one.
Night I came on stage there’s a gorgeous woman maybe 35 40 years old long black dress slit up to her waist gorgeous give me a second and I walked offstage you guys I thought you were hilarious I want to buy you a drink I’m like I can’t do that I’m married because I didn’t ask you want to have *** big boy asking gonna have a drink at my place I’m like all right well you know that little guy that sits on your shoulder that reminds you of your prior commitments and your moral fortitude and hear a peep out of that he.
Hadn’t been laid in three months either he was speechless for like 20 minutes and he was like sucker kitty.
I was gonna I’m having a three-way with.
My conscience soon as the whole thing’s over he’s back at his post but was wrong mister my 820 minutes ago you were.
Beating off on my shoulder monkey boy I hate him he smokes pot he burned a hole.
In my other jacket I’ve been spending a.
Ton of time in Los Angeles I learn things when I go to LA I learned this they have bikinis now made out of seashells I didn’t know that and I also didn’t know this if you’re ever walking down the beach and you see a girl dressed in a bikini made out of seashells and you pick her up and hold her to your ear you can hear her scream.
Who’d a thunk it I thought I’d hear the ocean but not over that woman hush man she was a wiggler la changes people.
I got a buddy of mine from Houston he’s comedian moved to LA six months ago six months in LA don’t know him six months in LA now he’s a vegetarian humanitarian and environmentalist you know great if you’re here tonight you’re a vegetarian shut up you’re not going to recruit me I.
Did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.
It’s not even that good for you ever see a healthy looking vegetarian they look like shit no they are all plump and gray because their bodies become intolerant of things they need now I’ll give you an example I’m on the way to the Melrose improv in Hollywood to do a set with my buddy and he says this and I quote I feel nauseous and I have a headache I think that vegetable soup I had for lunch must have had beef broth in it I didn’t.
Know what to say your systems kicking back bro you’re a manly man aren’t you.
When were you a vegetarian I asked him and it wasn’t even because meat was bad for you said that raising cattle was bad for the planet with how flatulence in the ozone and the clearing of land for the raising of cattle what are you doing to help the environment I’m eating the cows.
But I’m only one man whatever the hell that meant every time.
I read a newspaper in Los Angeles California I get pissed because things don’t have to make sense in LA I read an article in the paper in LA they said they’re gonna try to outlaw the big screen real-life handguns shooting video games because they say that that’s what’s wrong with the youth of America today they learned how to accurately shoot guns with video game it’s not a parenting problem little oh no it’s a video probably did it piss you off when you have a genuine problem you try to attack a solution – it’s got nothing to do with the problem you know what I mean I came up with a great idea don’t outlaw those machines give them to the state troopers of California because they’re some of the worst shots I’ve ever seen in my life I saw a shootout once live on TV that went on for so long eventually the criminal got frustrated and shot himself and the cops were on TV whining about it going he’s got on body armor he’s got on body armor I’m watching it live on seeing him going I’m see his head shoot him in the head give my kid a shot daddy good shot took.
Him out thank God poot was there with.
His considerable skills horrible shot some cops are you ever see tape with the Kehoe brothers from Ohio those guys are getting out of that white suburban they show it on cops these guys folks have a shootout with the police and point-blank.
Range nobody gets hurt I would love to.
Have been at the office the next day when that guy’s being interviewed by the chief and then what happened well at that point I loaded my semi-automatic 9-millimeter weapon at point-blank range and then what happened they left nice.
Shootin Elmer Fudd there was a kid in Detroit three years ago shot eight bullets hit nine people these two cops shot 22 bullets didn’t even hit the suburban.
Give those guys a roll of quarters drop them off at the mall that’s all I’m saying you know what I mean it’s just not like Texas you know Terry the biggest difference between Texas and California in Texas we have the death penalty and we use it that’s right if.
You come to Texas and kill somebody we will kill you back that’s our policy we’re trying to send a message to the rest of America and the message is go somewhere else and kill people go to California they don’t give a shit I was watching a case on Court TV when I was out there I got so mad steam was shooting out of my ears this guy’s convicted of a triple homicide this guy kills a grandmother a mother and a granddaughter without provocation he and a crime so heinous I can’t even fit it in my head he sentenced to death by a jury of his peers and right before it comes time to carry out the sentence a group of people on his behalf on his.
Behalf stand up and they go we can’t kill him he’s too crazy to know we’re killing him.
And what the hell are we arguing about if you don’t know the difference and it makes me feel better.
How do you know he’s crazy that’s what I want to know of course he’s crazy he killed three people you know yeah this is what they said he rolls his turds into little balls and eats crayons I’m like shit you got to quit putting all crazy people in one group goddamn it you got to separate a bump a little bit you know what I mean what does that crazy person do Oh he rolls his turns into little balls and eats crayons fine I’ll feed him for the rest of his life what does that crazy person do Oh he kills productive members of our society really should I roll this shit into little balls and make crayons.
Because the penalty is much less severe.
We’re trying to pass a bill right now through the Texas Legislature that’ll speed up the process of execution in heinous crimes where there’s more than three credible eyewitnesses if more than three people saw you do what you did you don’t sit on death row for 15 years Jack you go straight to the front of the line other states and other states are trying.
To abolish the death penalty my state’s putting in an express lane.
I did that bit out in California this guy comes up to me after the show and you can tell he was nervous to talk to me he goes because you know what that may be true about Jackson the death penalty but you know what you know what.
What he waited for me to say what that’s.
Kind of cute he goes there’s an old law in Texas the states that intention you cannot shoot somebody in the back no matter what they did to you or your family or your place of business it’s illegal for you to in turn shoot them in the back yeah but you can start shooting them in the leg till they turn around.
Because eventually they’re gonna get curious who shoot me in the leg I wonder.
Quietly to myself oh that guy never turn.
Around I was talking to a buddy of mine.
The other day my friend of a friend it’s a he’s real he’s a humble foe yeah that’s a most useless thing you could possibly be is afraid of gay people I was talk to him the other day and he goes yours being this will to be better for win so many queers and I’m like you know what the next time you have a thought let it go like a we’re all gay it’s just to what extent are you gay you know that bullshit man I ain’t gay at all I’m like yeah you are and I can prove it he was fine prove it I’m like all right do you like movie you guys yeah I love movie you know that but all do you only watch scenes with two women together you know I watch a man a woman making love like oh dear like the guy to have a small half flaccid penis there’s no I like big heart throbbing cock.
I did not know that about myself.
I promise Sears I would tell this story.
On stage every night until the lawsuit settled I had my van down to Savannah Georgia I.
Didn’t like the way the tires were wearing on it I took the van to Sears automotive a trusted name an automotive service take some three and a half hours.
To change four tires apparently they had to whittle one of them out of a piece of wheat I pay him 980 dollars of my hard.
Earned money I take a right-hand turn out of the mall the left rear wheel falls off it falls off it falls the ****.
Off turning my van into a tripod.
Spitting me into a dimension of pissed off I’ve never been in before in my life this guy was a tired guy that’s all he did he didn’t some days work on transmissions he was a tired guy Sears I found out later had sent him to tyre college for three days well.
Apparently he was sick on lugnut day but.
They still let him work on my van so I’m suing I mean I hope that next year they have to change the name of Sears Tower in Chicago to Iran White’s big old goddamn building.
You guys can all come over and party too.
I’m gonna have a lot of room think we.
Got to clean up wrong hell no man do another floor will come up there somebody grab my butt bring your coupons.
I got thrown out of a bar in New York.
City.
Now when I say I got thrown out of a bar I don’t mean somebody asked me to leave we walk to the door together and I said bye everybody I gotta go six bouncers hurled me out of a nightclub like I was a fridge beat those big old bouncers that go home every night watch Roadhouse and beat off you know I’m talking about Patrick Swayze’s hitting another guy for wearing a hat I.
Walk into a bar with a hat on just got real piss he goes took off the hat my.
Voice the deal he goes I tell you what the deal is baggage in this area we’re actually trying to keep him out of a club well I.
Already the only way we could tell down south is if they have their hair cut like your and he got all pissed when he walked away and I took the hat off and like an hour later I’ve been drinking and I forgot you ever forget happened to me I put the hat back on the guy comes over to me now I’m between 6 1 and 6 depending on which convenience store I’m leaving I weighed 335 pounds this guy comes over.
To me poking me in the shoulder with two fingers says you’re out of here and I.
Was wrong they hurled my ass and then.
They squared off with me in the parking lot and I backed down from the fight because I don’t know how many of them it would have taken to whip my ass but I knew how many they were going to use to.
Hand you a little piece of information to have right there overkill but I called the police because we broke a chair on the way out the door and I refused to pay for it the cops showed up and at that point I had the right to remain silent but it didn’t have the ability.
Cop says mr. white you are being charged with drunk in public I was drunk in a bar they threw me into.
Public I don’t want to be drunk in public I want to be drunk in a goddamn bar which is perfectly legal arrest them.
Well he didn’t arrest them instead they call in for my arrest record there’s some good news satellites are linking up in outer space computer banks at NASA are kicking on there’s a telegraph in Fritz Texas going.
Short him beep now I told you that story to tell you this story when I was 17 years old I was arrested for being drunk and oblique seem to be a pattern if you knew Morse code you would already know that when one DWI which with a bogus charge because it turns out they were stopping every vehicle traveling down that particular sidewalk and that’s profiling.
I believe from the drunken public.
Charged in French the arresting officer who I had literally known all my life.
You know what I mean this guy live four doors down from me in a town of less than 400 people we’ve met he takes me to.
Jail when we get there he asked me if I have any aliases and I was just being a smartass and said yeah they call me tater salad 17 years later in New York City I’m handcuffed on a bench with blood coming out of my nose and this cop goes are you wrong tater salad white you caught me.
You caught the tater you can take down.
Those roadblocks now I call my son Tater Tot and boot I am a dog lover actually I.
Love my dog I don’t give a shit about your dog I don’t know your dog man your dog could be an I don’t know sluggos an English Bulldog Sluggo don’t Jack with me hurt her.
Great you know what I do don’t when he’s asleep I lift up those big old huge Bulldog jowls and I had him and shit in there he wakes up in the morning like.
Gonna be a good day tater he calls me tattered he’s a great dog.
He’s sick right now we debating the bucket the vegan sick you can’t just feed him medicine he’ll spit it out you got to hide it in a piece of cheese I started him out last year for pick of the litter and I put him with the female dog for a couple of weeks and then to make sure it took I took him down to the veterinarian’s office and had artificial insemination done twice now for those of you that don’t know that’s where they obtained the semen from Sluggo and put it in the female dog and now it don’t take shit to get old Sluggo to go to the bat he loves the place.
I went down there the veterinarian had the audacity to say to me mr. Wyatt and she’ll just come on back here we’ll show you had to do this next time you don’t have to bring in the dog you could just bring in the semen that’s you go ahead.
And jack off the dog he follows me.
Around too much as it is **** I’m gonna.
Spend the rest of my life with this ball you know here we got a company you did it the other day do it yourself I don’t have anything.
Do we talk to Danny that way please.
I lost my mind I’ll tell you a little bit more about the demise of my relationship there was that one thing where I had *** with a girl but that wasn’t the underlying problem the big problem was the first problem was this we lived in a house and it had a thermostat that’s it because I.
Like the temperature of the house between 70 and 75 and she liked the temperature of the house between 75 and 100 and 10 and you can’t keep tater salad at that temperature we fought about it she was psycho women love me we have an argument one night about the temperature of a dwelling she goes outside with a butcher knife and cuts the tires on my truck so I drug up an old Polaroid and entered her in hustlers beaver hunt.
And she won and I used the money to get.
Me some new tires and she superglued my thing to my stomach so do you see how.
Things just get out of hand still itches.
But after three years of being married.
To this woman I still didn’t understand her she would get mad at me when I was trying to help her I’ll give you an example let’s say she had wake up in the morning and be real bitchy let’s just say and I knew in my heart she was.
Suffering from PMS and out of my.
I would offer were my dog and tell her.
Honey I believe Heath is my dog you won’t bitch quite so much she would.
Growl at me and wouldn’t eat the my dog I had to hide it in a piece of cheese.
Thanks for playing along hope you enjoyed it you gotta throw a manufactured very much.
I’m gonna go to the bar the bar is in my pocket so I don’t have to go too far so.
How’d you like the show I loved it I think it’s hilarious Ron White kills me yeah that taters how a joke gets me man I couldn’t stop laughing he’s too funny my jaws hurt and.
I think I was crying more than anything you enjoy the show yes never really good time yes did you laugh because I did there you are did.
You pee no he’s not only funny he is a cutie pie and a nice butt my side still.
Hurts it’s so funny guy from Texas.
That’s like a sitcom waiting to happen I think I’m gonna start drinking scotch where’d you see the blue collar tour.
Tater came right into your living room.